sCRYed: The True Story
by Khushrenada
Summary: The true s.CRY.ed story that they never showed on T.V. or wrote in the Manga. A completely random s.CRY.ed parody.
1. PWNED!

s.CRY.ed: The True Story

This is my random s.CRY.ed parody that is based on the series.

I had originally planned to go through the episodes and parody each one, but I have decided that I will start out with episode one and if I run out of ideas for each episode or people hate it I am going to make original stories.

I actually plan to do all of the episodes, but I might throw in some random stories that didn't happen in the show. (Or Manga.)

Disclaimer: I do not own s.CRY.ed or any of it's characters. They are owned by whoever was talented to make this series. The randomness, however, is mine!

Now on with the story!

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s.CRY.ed: The True Story

Episode 1: Pwned!

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Somewhere above the Lost Ground...

(Mimori is in an airplane)

Lady Over The Speakers: Blah, Blah, Lost Ground, Blah, Blah, Alter User, Blah

Mimori: God, she is annoying...I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE RYUHO! (Fangirl Squeal) (Looks out the window and sees Kazuma)

Mimori: OMG WTF! CRAZY MAN ON THE AIRPLANE!

Kazuma: Hey.

Mimori: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY! I WON'T SUCCUMB TO YOUR ADVANCES!

Kazuma: The hell! Dude, mainlanders are weird.(Says the guy standing on the plane...) Besides, uggo, I wouldn't rape you if you payed me. (Jumps off the plane)

Mimori: Oh, thank god he left. I could totally see in his eyes how beautiful he thought I was and how much he wanted to have his way with me.

Random Plane Passengers: O.o (A "YEAH RIGHT, COW!" is heard in the back, but Mimori ignores it and starts a rant about Ryuho.)

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On the ground...

Random Thugs: Oh, we don't have to keep our guard up. It's not like some guy with an alter on his right arm is going to fall from the sky and take the chief back...

Kazuma: MUHAHAHAHA THINK AGAIN, BITCHES!

(Explosion)

(Thugs dead on the ground)

Kazuma: PWNED! THIS IS THE DAY YOU WILL REMEMBER AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT--(The chief's I beam falls on him and he throws it off and jumps up)...Kazuma the Shell Bullet...

Kazuma: FATASS! LOSE SOME GODDAMN WEIGHT! (Drags him off)

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The Next Day...

Random Detective: Twas another alter user.

Cherice: Figured as much...

Random Detective: Yup...

Cherice: Uh- huh...

Random Detective: Um...Are we done here?

Cherice: Yeah...I'm gonna go pretend to be cute now, but everyone knows my voice sounds like a cat getting run over by a 16 wheeler.

Random Detective: Kay...ho-bag...

Cherice: What?

Random Detective: ...Nothing...

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Later on in some village...

Kazuma: Wow, I really cleaned up on this job. But wait, I haven't been a complete moron and done something stupid yet. Oh I know! I will give most if not all of my money to some random kid!

Random Kid: SWEET, BEE-YOTCH!

Kazuma: Ah, the innocence of youth.

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At HOLY...

Zigmarl: TATERS!

HOLD Member: Er...

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Random Field...

Kanami: Wow...I'm bored...I wish Kazuma was around so I could show him my mad pwning skillz...

Random Old Guy: Wanna come to my house for some tea?

Kanami: NO, DAMNIT! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE TEA WITH PERVY OLD MEN. NOW LEAVE ME SO I CAN ANGST ABOUT KAZU-KUN!

(Kazuma Appears)

Kazuma: It is I, Kazuma!

Kanami: WOOT! Now give me my money, bee-yotch!

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A tad bit later at the Kazu-kun mansion...

Kanami: WHAT! THIS IS ALL? YOU WILL GO BACK OUT THERE AND DO MORE WORK MISTER!

Kazuma: Sir, you need to calm down.

(Kimishima appears)

Kimishima: Never fear, for I am here! And I have a new job for you!

Kazuma: Oh god, it's not like the strip thing is it?

Kanami: What?

Kimishima: Er...Nothing. Anyway, no, it isn't.

Kazuma: Aw...Well, then I don't want it.

Kimishima: You are going to take it. Do you know why?

Kazuma: Why?

Kimishima: Because I'm da pimp! That makes you da ho!

Kazuma: ...Oh, fine.

Kanami: I'm leaving now.

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HOLY Convoy...

Cherise: The Commander won't stop shouting "TATERS!" into the phone...Oh, and we have found a Native Alter.

Ryuho: First, go get Elian to get him some goddamn taters and LET'S GO GET THAT ALTER USER! YEE-HAW!

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Random Destroyed Location...

Biff: Don't mess with me, bitch, or I will pwn you!

Kazuma: Think again, fatso!

(Fight Ensues)

Kazuma: MUHAHAHAHA I PWNED YOU ALL! YOU ARE ALL MY HO'S!

(Bright ass lights flip on and HOLY Convoys appear)

Cherice: AS IF! We shall see who pwns who!

Kazuma: Oh shut up, you stupid sea cow!

(Hits Convoy)

Cherise: (Panty Flash)Hey! Don't call me that...you...you...err...

Kazuma: Don't hurt yourself.

Ryuho: Enough talking! Zetsuei! Dance of the Ribbons!

Kazuma: Ooh...Pretty.

Ryuho: Thank you...NOW DIE!

(Kazuma gets his ass beat)

Ryuho: I AM ZE PWNING MASTER!

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Kazu-kun Mansion...

Kanami: I was dreaming...about some lame ass who got his ass beat to hell.

Tsh...dumbass.

END

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Did you hate it? Love it?

After going through all of the s.CRY.ed fanfics I realized GYRAX had already done a s.CRY.ed parody (Which was brilliant.), and I tried to make mine as original as possible and I really tried not to take anything.

The only thing that was really similar was the Cherise panty flash...but I mean, come on...thats a must for any parody.

Next Episode 2: Enter Mimori: No Chance In Hell!

(BTW, If anyone can think of a nice little nickname for Mimori and/or Cherice and/or I would love any suggestions!)

(Hell, I would love any suggestions at all!)


	2. Enter Mimori: No Way in Hell!

Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciated them!

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s.CRY.ed: The True Story

Episode Two: Enter Mimori: No Chance In Hell!

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Somewhere on the Lost Ground...

Random Inners: GET OUT, HOLY SCUM!

Ryuho: No! And just because you said that I will sing about it! Laaaaaaaaa La la la Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Random Inners: WTF, his singing is so horrible we're just going to give in! Game over, man. Game over. It's not worth it.

Cherise: Oh. My. God. I thought my voice woke the dead...

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Some Laboratory...

Mimori: The Lost Ground is so full of secrets...And as a evil scientist I have the perfectest plan ever. I will pretend to go to the Lost Ground for Alter User research, while, in fact, I will be stalking Ryuho so he will realize how he really loves me! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Random Scientist Enters.

Random Scientist: ... I would have tired to stopped you but...you're a crazy bitch.

Mimori: Good! It is settled then! I leave at once!

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Lost Ground...

Mimori: RYUHO! OH, RYUHO, WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOOU? I would have a plot-significant flashback, but I think some Ryuho-ranting needs to be taking place right about now.

Cougar: Are you whats-her-face Kyuu?

Mimori:...if you mean Kiryu, then yes I am, Mimori Kiryu.

Cougar: GREAT! THEN GET IN THE CAR AND LETS GO GO GO!

Mimori: ALRIGHTY!

Cougar:YOUKNOWSPEEDISTHEBESTTHINGEVERINVENTEDIMEANITISCOMPLETELYAWESOMEDON'TYOUAGREEMISSMIMI!

Mimori:Uh...I have no idea...and it's Minori...Wait!...No, that's not right...Uhh...Mimori..? Yes! That's it!

Cougar: WHATEVA, WHATEVA, I DO WHAT I WANT!

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At Holy...

Mimori: ...Damn, that was some sweet ass ride!

Cougar: You know it!

Cherise: Hi Kids! Today the secret word is "Okay"! You know what to do when someone says the secret word?

All of the HOLY/HOLD Members in the Area: SCREAM REAL LOUD!

Cherise: That's Right! We scream real loud!

Ryuho: What is all the noise about?

Cherise: Oh, I was just announcing the secret word for today. Oh, yeah, and she arrived.

Ryuho: (Looks Down) JESUS CHRIST! WHO LET THE HOMELESS WOMAN IN HERE!

Mimori: I'm not a homeless person I'm Mimori Kiryu. Remember!

Ryuho:...Nope!

Mimori: ...

Ryuho: We are going to have to meet with the commander if fifteen minutes.

Mimori: Okay.

Cherise, Cougar, Ryuho, and all of the HOLY/HOLD Members: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cherise: You said the word of the day!

Mimori: Oh, snickerdoodle.

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Zigmarl's Office...

Mimori: Don't worry. I promise to do my best and stay out of trouble.

Zigmarl: What? Oh, I don't care.

Mimori: What?

Zigmarl: Tsh...this is my weekend job. I don't care what happens...

Mimori: Such a loyal commander...Ight, then I'm leaving, okay?

Zigmarl and Ryuho: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mimori: (sigh) Whatev...(turns and looks at Ryuho and gasps) OMG IT'S RYUHO! (Huggles)

Ryuho: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGETOFFBITCHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(Hits her off with a broom)

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Outside Zigmarl's Office...

Mimori: I LOVE YOU RYUHO!

Ryuho: UGH! GET AWAY! There is no way IN HELL that I would ever go out with you!

Mimori: Then it is a good thing we aren't in hell, huh!

(Ryuho runs off whilst Mimori is in a rant.)

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Cafeteria...

Mimori: Oh I know he loves me! He is just playing hard to get!

Cherise: Ahaha! Don't think Ryuho would ever love you! Because he loves me!

Mimori: ...What makes you so sure!  
Cherise: I have proof! He gave me this! (Pulls out some foil)

Mimori: Ohhhhh...shinny...Damn...he gave you that?

Cherise: Yup! And he told me to throw it away, but I know he meant keep it forever and ever!

Mimori: Argh! That shiny substance tells me that you are a true rival! IT IS ON!

Cherise: ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY! MUHAHAHAHAHA (Runs Off)

Cougar: She is in odd one, ne?

Mimori: Hey...Lion...right?

Cougar: NO! It's COUGAR and that is MY THING!

Mimori: Whatever...Panther.

Cougar: ARGH! Anyway, you wanna go on some distant cliff so we can watch two Alter Users kick the snot out of each other?

Mimori: HELL YEAH!

Cougar: We're off then!

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In Cougar's Car...

Mimori: OH MY GOD! YOU JUST RAN OVER SOME OLD WOMAN! I HOPE SHE IS ALRIGHT!

Cougar: Oh, I she's is fine. I've ran over her before.

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Distant Cliff...

Mimori: (Looking Through Binoculars) Oh, that bitch, Cherise! HOW DARE SHE?

Cougar: What did she do?

Mimori: She LOOKED at Ryuho! SHE WILL FEEL MY WRATH!

Cougar: (Backs Away) Mainlanders scare me...

Mimori: OH DON'T BE SUCH A NANCY BOY! AHAHAHAHAHA

Cougar: (Thinking) _Damn, I wish I could leave her here._

Mimori: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cougar ...

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Hospital...

Chief: HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME OUT THERE! A NATIVE ALTER FREAKING CAME AND GOT ME! I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!

Zigmarl: Yeah...but...DID YOU EVER ONCE THINK HOW I FELT!

Chief: ...What the...

Zigmarl: I WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! YOU NEVER CONSIDER MY FEELINGS!

Chief: Dude...wtf...

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Back on the cliff...

Mimori: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH FWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cougar: CAN WE GO NOW! WE HAVE BEEN OUT HERE FOR THREE HOURS! HOLY CLEANED UP AND LEFT TWO HOURS AGO ALREADY!

Mimori: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cougar: Son of a bitch...

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Kazuma's Mansion

Kanami: Where the hell is he! I WANT MY MONEY!

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Holy...

Kazuma: RYUHO! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! Right after I get off this kick-ass ride! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

END

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Yay! New Chapter!

Although I have no idea how I am ever going to finish 26 chapters...It is going to take a lot of time.

Sorry, if this one wasn't as funny.

I had writers block in the beginning.

I hope at least one person gets the "Secret Word Of The Day" reference.

You get 100 Who's Line Is It Anyway points if you can guess where it is from!

Next Episode 2: Everything is Not So Holy At Holy.


End file.
